Monday, May 12, 2008

More of my weekend


So the waves were plentiful today as well. After finishing up children's classes, I once again headed down to the beach, only this time I biked toward an area called Sugar Dock, which seems to be the main surf spot on the island, as far as a beach break goes. There were plenty of people there, and I ended up meeting new folks, recognizing others whom I'd been introduced to, and doing a little more surfing. It was another great day, and hopefully there will be some surfable waves still coming in for the better part of the day tomorrow. Since I'm without a job, I might as well focus on something!

The Taste of the Marianas food festival is every Saturday night in the month of May, and I went out there with Mark's family last night. I ran into many familiar faces, and ate some great food. It wasn't as lonely an experience as the Flame Tree festival, even though I was at a table of about five couples, because I'm starting to get to know people. The island is small enough that as I am introduced to people, and then meet more people, I am already starting to run into the same folks more than once a day. Appearances are deceiving though, when I first got here it seemed as if there was a very large population of white people, because I saw them out and about everywhere. Whites are actually quite a minority, making up less than 2% of the island's population--approximately 1,500 people. Those are pretty rough numbers, plus a lot of people are leaving, but I realized it as I witnessed how segregated a lot of this group of people is.

I met some neat people: A medical doctor who is also a naturopathic doctor, and his wife and daughter. He also is an avid surfer, paddler, kite boarder, snow boarder, and I don't know what else but I'm sure it involves a board. Actually I don't really feel like describing everyone I met.

I lied last week. In a job interview no less. I told a stupid, inconsequential, meaningless lie and now I am going to have to go back to the resort and tell the manager that I lied to her. During our interview I had mentioned that I just came from Japan, and at one point she asked me how long I had lived there...and my answer of "8 months" just came out. Of course I was trying to impress her with my worldliness, and of course the next thing she said was, "where did you live in Tokyo?" since I had described that as my home--I've never really been anywhere else in Japan so it was a no-brainer. Again, we know where this is going, as she responded with, "I am from Tokyo." and I just died. To make it worse, I realized she has my application, and with a minimal amount of thinking, she can look at my employment history and realize that I haven't been anywhere except the US for quite some time.

I really hate when that happens. It has been a little while since I did something that blatantly deceitful. And I have to go tell her. For a million little reasons I have to man up and admit my lie. And for the main one...lying is wrong. I can still remember that lesson learned at the age of four or five, as I wrote a note to my mom and signed it from my dad. It commandingly suggested that she let me watch Airwolf, the television program I had been told was not allowed. It was quite a good bit of penmanship for a pre-schooler, but my mom wasn't convinced. And lying was explained to be destructive to my soul. I got it, although I had to learn for myself the truth of that statement. Lying is destructive to your soul. Whether it is a silly little lie like mine, or a twist of the truth to a police officer to save you from some inconvenience that you brought on yourself, or a fib that gets given to a co-worker to explain some lapse of mind on your part...whether it's the biggest of big ones or the smallest possible...

it hurts you. It usually hurts someone else too. It might even undermine a friends faith in you, as you describe to them how you were able to yet again manipulate your way around the truth. I realize that my own past dishonesty has made me acutely aware of the same in other people. And although everyone can-and will-change, it is something that once I read in another person's character, it is a hard view to let go of. I know this first-hand, since I have to prove my character all the time as a result of my past. And not everyone is willing to give me another chance at it. But that's a whole 'nother story.

If you would lie a tiny lie like that to that person...what would stop you from telling me a tiny lie? I don't want people that tell tiny lies in my life...just like I don't want to be someone telling tiny lies to others. So tomorrow morning I will ask for my HP's assistance, and go set the record straight. Because if I want honest people in my life, I have to BE an honest person.

2 comments:

Paryssa said...

Amen and a Hallelujah!!

sonya said...

Barry Neil Kaufman says "Become what you want to see in the world."