Once again it is after midnight and
the sound of pop songs turned up as loud as the laptop will play them
fills the space that I sit in as I glance out the window and
play silly brain games with trains
I cry for my marriage and the wife that is gone
I cry for my mistakes and the stubborn refusals
I sing along to a song and my voice cracks and wavers
Until another song means I'm crying for you now
So much love and awareness and awakening to my heart
because of the patience and beauty and caring you showed me
My friend
my lover
I want to distract and dodge this pain
Why must it be both at once?
