Friday, April 17, 2015
Vietnam - Day 2
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Tears at the store after hours
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Pop Song Torture
Whatever it is its just sitting there laughing at me -- and I just want to scream -- What Now -- I just can't figure it out
I spend every hour just going through the motions I can't even get the emotions to come out Dry as a bone but I just want to shout What Now
All of me loves all of you all your curves and all your edges all your perfect imperfections give your all to me I'll give my all to you Your my end and my beginning even when I lose I'm winning -- How many times do I have to tell you even when you're crying you're beautiful too
Say something I'm giving up on you And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you Anywhere I would've followed you Say something I'm giving up on you -- And I will swallow my pride You're the one that I love and I'm saying goodbye
Kiss me hard before you go Summertime sadness I just wanted you to know Baby you're the best
I've loved and I've lost -- I know you've been hurt by someone else I can tell by the way that you carry yourself
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited But I couldn't stay away I couldn't fight it I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded That for me it isn't over Never mind I'll find someone like you I wish nothing but the best for you two Don't forget me I beg I'll remember you say Sometimes it lasts in love But sometimes it hurts instead
You've been havin real bad dreams You used to lie so close to me There's nothing more than empty sheets between our love -- Just give me a reason just a little bits enough Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again
Not really sure how to feel about it something in the way you move Makes me feel I can't live without you It takes me all the way I want you to stay
It's like screaming and no one can hear You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important that without them you feel like nothing No one will ever understand how much it hurts You feel hopeless like nothing can save you And when its over and its gone you almost wish you could have all that bad stuff back so that you could have the good
Goodbye in photographs
Saturday, August 9, 2014
I want to love me
i have so much jabber playing through my mind
how does it get to be so overwhelming like this
unending like the waves upon the beach at garapan
it is totally ok that you feel the way that you do
it is ok that you told me about it
some of the things that you said to me were no doubt true
and yet I choose to not have that type of judgment and energy thrust upon me
I am damaged right now, or maybe always
I will mend and that break will be stronger than the surrounding tissues
I will stand and fold and lay and breathe and move through this
and through that and all that comes up
when I try and open a little it feels as if an unending torrent of emotion will burst forth
tears flowing without cessation until my eyes are dry and reddened
all the tissues gone, the pillow case crusty with snot
and the sound of the creek continuous in my ears
I make it about me as best I can because I know its true
yet with the reading of a sentence it suddenly becomes about you
inconsiderate and uncaring I have somehow made you less
out of the tens of friends and family who follow I get to hear only one negative
a reaction so strong it blasts into me as I try to see your side
because you ask me and I would anyway or at least try
My needs are valid
as are yours
it appears they are not compatible
or I am ready to run
maybe just to walk alone
Either way my heart swells and my throat closes and my back aches so badly at the site of my injury at the back of my heart where breath catches and pain arcs through my shoulders
My arm goes numb and my fingers and thumbs crack and peel and bleed
I have made a life of defining myself by you
Not even knowing what it means to love me
Monday, November 12, 2012
Friday, February 18, 2011
Emotional Sobriety
This is a talk given by a man who is no longer alive. His name was Tom Brady, Jr., and he identified himself as an alcoholic. Often times at twelve step program conventions there are speakers who tell their life stories, with the purpose of maybe allowing someone else to identify and relate to them.
This talk, although including some details of Mr. Brady's life, is more about something that many people beyond only those who feel they are alcoholics can relate to. He titles it, 'Emotional Sobriety', and it is almost entirely directed at symptoms, behaviors and beliefs that manifested in his life after he quit drinking!
I recommend it as an amazing listen, regardless of your personal inclinations towards addiction--if you have ever felt that you were emotionally out-of-whack, then download this file and listen to Mr. Brady talk to us.
Tom Brady, Jr. on Emotional Sobriety
